It's funny how people get set in their own little ways. As I've been a person with no life this week due to my exams I have spent a lot of time starring aimlessly out of the window. Due to living in a village you get to know people's routines. For example, there is one family consisting of a grandfather and grandmother, a mother and three young children. Everyday, without fail, this family will walk three times a day up and down the same piece of road whether rain or sun. And in this day and age a regular family walk is very rare. The little piece of information I do know about them is they are from china so maybe this is just how families spend time together or maybe they just appreciate the unpolluted air, who knows? It made me think of how set I am in my ways. My day, when not in school, consists of me lying in for quite a while, contemplating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed because I know the day will hold nothing of interest. But without fail I do get up usually before midday and normally spend a couple of hours on my laptop. I guess I use it as an escape. When I talk to people on the computer I can be whoever I want, I don't have to be plain old Lauren, I can be different which is what I crave everyday. But seeing as nobody really talks to me while online I soon lose interest in this although stay logged on in the pure hope that someone who wants to talk to me will come online, which rarely happens but it's always good to have hope.

But I think I've finally realised that I have to get a life, I seriously can't live my life trying to escape everything anymore so instead I should try and make an effort to do something with my life, who knows what though!! I really just have to stop being sooo antisocial and make an effort to see people, even though I'll probably find it hard at first it should pay off in the long run. I just have to stop being so self conscious and fuck what everyone else thinks. I want to have fun just like everyone else and I'm not going to let a few people who can't see me as anything else but a "wheelchair" stop me from enjoying my last few years of having no responsibilty. Ah finally a mental breakthrough wow!! Erm just hope it lasts the night. So next weekend, after the dreaded exams have finished I am going to start to do something, anything, just to get me out the house. I'm thinking night out get a bit pissed, not too much though as last time I did I got my chair stuck in a doorway, wasn't my finest moment but hey it was a laugh. So I should probably get back to my history revision while I'm still feeling mildly enthusiastic. Ok well bye for now!!
xx